I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
someone owes me an orgasm
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
