i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
