I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize