and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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