This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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