she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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