you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
