i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
