No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
