I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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