okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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