She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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