Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
