Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
