if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
