i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
