I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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