paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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