That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
