The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have aggressive nipples.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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