I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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