How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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