Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
