all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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