i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
