Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
