Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
