I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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