I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.