AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?