We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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