How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
