so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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