they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
