Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
