I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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