he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
