dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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