My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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