so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
