So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
