I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
