Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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