My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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