I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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