Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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