you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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