Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize