never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
