you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure