sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.