i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.