dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
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Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box