I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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