Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
