i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
