Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
