it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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