If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
