Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
