Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
