last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
this hospital has no fireball
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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