We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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